Back home that night, Blyne still seemed to smell the scent of perfume lingering on her collar and the tip of her nose.
She put the shirt in the laundry basket, but hesitated, picked up the shirt, and lowered her head to bring the collar close to her nose.
She guessed that Vey had also sprayed perfume on her wrist. The faint scent that had left Vey’s body temperature was no longer warm, but cold, aloof, and indifferent. It briefly intersected with her, just like the scent left on the clothes, which would soon dissipate.
Next to the laundry basket were the odds and ends she had brought back from school when she quit her job.It had been two weeks since she quit her job, and she hadn’t opened the box yet. She hadn’t gone out much since breaking up with Livia, and hadn’t even washed the clothes piled up there. Now, she thought with a wry smile, fortunately she insisted on buying a house back then, and didn’t go to Livia’s house to live with her. Now that she was alone, at least she had a place to stay.
Livia broke up with her decisively and left completely. After she left, Blyne threw everything she had left behind down the stairs like garbage. But if she hadn’t remembered to do laundry today, she wouldn’t have noticed that the drawer next to her hadn’t been tidied up, and there were still a few claw clips left—Livia was used to using them. Her hair was just past her shoulders, and she could fix it with a hairpin with a casual twist. Blyne touched the ends of her hair that fell to her waist.
Livia…it was Livia again, Livia was everywhere. Blyne was upset. She clenched the shirt in her hand, took a deep breath, and then calmly threw all the claw clips into the trash can.
After the breakup, she was finally willing to go out for a walk. Her friend was even more excited than she was, dragging her to go shopping, eat, buy clothes, and even suggested she change her hairstyle. This friend, Maeve, was her university classmate. Blyne was not very good at maintaining interpersonal relationships. From elementary school to middle school to university, there were very few friends she had made who were still in contact with her, and Maeve was one of them.
Maeve had witnessed Livia’s pursuit of Blyne back then. In the eyes of outsiders, Blyne was actually a somewhat dull and slow person – although she couldn’t understand why a beautiful girl from a harmonious family would have such a personality – but she knew that Blyne herself was actually quite delicate. She clearly knew her sexual orientation was female, could cleverly and gracefully avoid the confessions of the opposite sex, and so she finally fell into Livia’s hands.
Thinking about how she had helped Livia pursue her back then, Maeve couldn’t help but stomp her feet. During the period just after their breakup, Blyne’s condition was so bad that it seemed like she could jump off a rooftop at any moment, so Maeve, with the mentality that it was never too late to mend the fold, recommended a dating app to her.
“Have you heard that saying?” Maeve had already taken the initiative to help her register an account and even filled in the information and photos for her. Then, she nervously and expectantly encouraged her, saying, “The best way to get back at your ex is to start a new relationship!”
Blyne didn’t actually agree with this saying. Regardless of whether she wanted to get back at Livia, she just felt that she couldn’t use others as a tool to get out of the gloom. Moreover, in her current state, it would be difficult to get involved in a new relationship. She idly swiped through a few pages on the website, always lacking interest.
Then she found Vey in the crowd.
Not because of fate, but because Vey was very popular on the website.
She didn’t often post updates and rarely interacted with people, but she and her followers seemed to have a secret and independent circle, and Blyne couldn’t understand what they were talking about. Perhaps it was the mentality of a diligent and studious student, but she spent half a day trying to understand those terms… It was like opening the door to a new world.
When she sent a private message to Vey, it was partly out of curiosity and partly out of self-abandonment – Livia accused her of being “uninteresting,” so what was interesting? She greeted Vey with a try-it-and-see attitude, nervously blushing and her heart racing. She locked her screen as soon as she sent it, but unexpectedly, Vey replied to her.
Blyne told Maeve about the experiences of the past few days, of course, glossing over the part in the hotel, and then watched Maeve’s expression change from shock to blankness to understanding and then to encouragement.
“I understand, really. Isn’t the point of a kink just to have fun? SM is already considered very normal.”
“Sometimes my girlfriend and I spice things up, like bondage and choking, and I’ve called her ‘master’ too. I’ve watched videos with subtitles, you know, it’s really normal. Who doesn’t have these fantasies, right?”
“By the way, this kind of purely… um, um, this kind of relationship you two have. Do you have to sign some kind of agreement… I don’t know, I read it in some novels.”
“No, I didn’t mean anything else, I just mean, she’s obviously interested in you, and you seem to be enjoying it too…”Damn, what am I even saying.”
Things were getting more and more muddled. Seeing the increasingly strange look in Blyne’s eyes, Maeve sighed in annoyance.
“What I mean is, you really don’t need to think so much. Happiness is the most important thing, and sometimes it’s not necessary to set your moral standards so high. That person cheated and still had the nerve to say you’re not fun, so what’s wrong with you finding someone to have some fun with after the breakup!”
Blyne was silent, then commented: “Rough words, but true.”
“The words aren’t rough! You two have broken up, and you are now a free adult. As long as you pay attention to safety, it’s perfectly normal to do whatever you want with someone, okay!”
It seemed that the four words “we broke up” were a convenient excuse. A well-behaved person could become capricious and hysterical because of the hurt, and Blyne didn’t know whether this was a matter of course or should be attributed to “self-abandonment”.
That night, Blyne repeatedly opened and closed Vey’s homepage, opened and closed the chat box. However, as if sensing her indecisiveness from afar, the other person’s long-silent homepage suddenly updated a post, a video.
She seemed to be skydiving with some friends from a helicopter, leaping down from thousands of meters in the air. Just watching, Blyne felt as if she were there, terrified. But before jumping, Vey was still smiling and waving at the camera, tilting her head back and falling, free like a shooting star.
Blyne was momentarily dazed.
Vey was no longer in this city… or even possibly in the country. The last time they separated, she told her she could contact her anytime.
If she contacted her now, what would she say? Blyne thought to herself, without any beginning or end.
Finally, she opened a post that Vey shared a month ago. In the live image, she clinked a wine glass with someone across from her, the black gem on her ring gleaming, reflecting the bizarre colors under the neon lights.
She recalled Vey’s casual demeanor when she took off her ring and watch in front of her, and remembered how she scrutinized her effortlessly while holding a whip. Blyne turned awkwardly to the side and touched her shoulder.
She wanted to continue playing on her phone, but suddenly felt restless, turned off the bedside lamp to sleep, yet tossed and turned.
The autumn wind stirred the curtains, and the night was cool as water, yet the air around her felt extraordinarily hot. Finally, she gave a long, self-destructive sigh, closed her eyes, thinking of Vey’s gaze when she hit her, lifted her nightgown, and slipped her hand into her panties.
Every word, every command, was vivid in her mind. The pain and heat from the whip seemed to be branded onto her struck skin. She bit her lower lip, as if she could still feel the warmth rising from her shoulders and hips.
Look up, open your eyes, spread your legs, straighten your back, do not move.
You must always watch her and follow her orders.
Her own hand was warm, but the whip and Vey’s hand felt a bit cold. In her uncontrollable memories, the temperature seemed to seep out with the liquid, and then the air gradually became ambiguous and sticky. Blyne closed her eyes, imagining the whip gliding over her shoulder and spine through a layer of fabric, falling when she was completely unprepared. She bit her lower lip, her hand instinctively tightening, entangled in imagination and reality, the heat and pleasure piling up, turning into a damp stain and a suppressed moan.
Her arm slipped down, resting on the bed. Blyne opened her slightly damp lashes, feeling dazed for a moment, then aimlessly stared at the slightly translucent gap in the curtain.
Now, it seemed she had no right to talk about any ‘bottom line’ or ‘restraint’.
Last time you said I could contact you when I had thought it through, but now… that’s not right. Do you have time these days? …That doesn’t feel right either, it seems too direct. Blyne bit her lower lip, rewriting a line of text, feeling that nothing seemed appropriate.
Forget it, she finally sighed softly and thought, anyway, no matter what she said, the message reaching Vey would be the same—that after thinking it through, she wanted to be punished.
【Are you busy lately?】In the end, she asked like this.
She didn’t know what time it was where Vey was, but she replied very quickly.
【Not busy.】
【What’s up?】
The tone was very formulaic; from the text, Blyne seemed to be able to imagine Vey’s nonchalant expression.
She felt a moment of hesitation for no reason, but steeled herself and continued typing.
【I’ve thought it through.】
【I want to see you.】
…………
End of this chapter